Recently, my 20 year old daughter asked me why even bother getting married. I told her that 50% of couples stay married, some even get their happy ever after. This is the advice I gave her on how, I thought, she would have a shot at a happy married life.
1. He is not going to
change. Even though he may say he will, and you may be able to modify his
behavior somewhat, i.e. get him to call when he's going to be late. What you see, is
what you get. WYSIWYG.
2. Do not under any
circumstance; put aside your own dreams, goals, aspirations for his.
3. Compromise,
don't acquiesce.
4. Share the
responsibility of raising your children. Your job is not less important because
you are the woman. Take turning taking days off from work when kids are sick,
have school functions or days off from school.
5. As life happens and
routine takes over make sure you make it priority to have a date night with
your husband. You don't have to go out. Even just sharing a glass of wine after
the kids have gone to bed can help you keep connected to your husband.
6. Nurture the
relationship to keep communication alive. One of the reasons
men stray is because they don't feel like they're being paid attention
to by their wives. This means if there are chores and you feel they have to be done right now, they don't. They can wait.
Make time to connect with your husband. The laundry will still be there. Who knows? Maybe
he'll even help with the chores so you can have more time together. Ideally, he
will already be helping with the chores. For example, he does the dinner clean up and you
help the kids with homework.
7. Do not let
yourself go. Pamper yourself. Get your hair colored, nails done, go to the gym. Happy wife equals happy
life. Remember to love yourself.
8. Understand marriage
is not a 50/50 relationship. Most of the time marriage is a 90/10 split. Just
make sure you're not always being the one giving 90%. This will lead to build
up resentment that will only build over time and lead to
explosive arguments.
9. Go away on trips with
your husband without the kids.
10. If he cheats, it's
not because of you. It's because of him and who he is as a person.